one reason why i created this page was so that i could just share my thoughts and not be judged by people i know for the shet i have to say.
so yeah, i have been working for my company for over a year and a lot of months (almost nearing 2 years) and while the pay is good, there are points of misses that i have been pondering on for quite some time now.
it’s not about complaining really, it’s more on “why the hell is this happening” at most.
7 months ago, i was asked to cross pull for another account with the promise that my only role was to help out and then come back to my account after the anticipated “work cue” has been ruled out as “stabilized” - i didn’t exactly volunteer and only accepted it after being told that it’s a career plus.
sure.
a month later, i returned to my account only to be told that i was asked to cross train for another account. not again, i told myself. while i found it uncomfortable to have been chosen just because i “started” the so-called cross pulling, i again accepted it just because i was told it was temporary and my account was found to be over-staffed. to top it off, some weeks later, i was also told that i would have to function as half of another account, much to my surprise. some people found it as a display of flexibility and intelligence while i saw it as a no choice since it was a management decision while someone else told me it’s capitalist tactics which, i must always think of as an advantage instead of feeling bad that i seem to have no permanent address (at work). after all, my actual account (as bound by my contract) is still over staffed and utilization is a current issue (even to date).
i was working for two accounts for at least 4 months until in the middle of november, as far as i understood, i was on-loan full time for the remaining other account. i never failed to ask my manager about their promise that i was to return to my account. somehow, even if i am doing well, i felt unhappy about the fact that our verbal agreement was never acted upon.
to date, i am patient about the fact that my manager is working on it but my hopes had dipped to more than 50% of what it used to be. many people had pointed out that i should have had it in writing - understandably, i was under the assumption that people in higher position are inherently good and will not be there if they have no word of honor. stupidity or idiocy may have robbed me of my morale (which is now diminishing as i type) but nevertheless, i never failed to keep my part of the bargain by being productive (since it was what i was being paid to do) and take a mental note of all the things this experience of having been knowledgeable of the different accounts and processes in my domain.
so it’s january and i’m still on loan.
lately, our account-wide program had problems with it’s front line and we, the higher position to the front line are being asked to help out by taking calls on top of our actual work. i was never asked to render this service but upon observation, i can’t help but think that it was the result of mismanagement on the part of the front line.
first of all, i see no glory in the justification that by helping them out, it “fixes” our utilization problem and at the same time, help meet their SLA. for one, we are manipulating data, and two, it bred “demoralization” among my fellows since it was never part of our job description.
heavy capitalism stuff.
i once mentioned this to a co-worker and lo, what a sight to behold. her eyes rolled into a ball and told me straight away to never mention this at the office. i told her that it was not my intention to start a “revolution” but to find a win-win solution, management wise. i took my words back with simply saying that it was just based on objective observation and who am i to say so anyway. i’m just a lowly employee. she went on to tell me that it is career death, i’ll be nailed to the cross as a complainer. just when was it so bad to think of a way to make the process better and actually save the company money and make our client happy?
secondly, that short moment made me realize that you can’t simply have a management-related conversation with a co-worker over coffee just for the hell of releasing tension and make sense of things. you can, but to a selective group with an oath to secrecy. after all, in the end, we’re there to work, no matter how hard things get and change is inevitable.
third, going back to my unhappy thoughts about my situation - i was given the opportunity to add a new role to my current one involving administrative work but i can’t help but wonder how more work meant being labelled as dependable and flexible if it also meant that trust is also ironic.
you see, it so happened that someone got promoted on my team (my account) and there was an opportunity for me to return, as promised. however, from what i understood, the manager to whom i was loaned to was reluctant to let me go and i had an agreement with my manager that at most, she will try to compromise by making me work for both towers/teams - another half-half until she could get me back full time (take note, on top of my administrative work for the whole account) for the period that a heavy cue of work is anticipated (until the next month). my hopes fell to a mere 5% just this thursday when i learned that someone was already transferred to the team to fill up the vacant position.
i fought off bad thoughts and held on to my manager’s efforts to get me back. whatever happens, i know her well enough to understand that she is doing her best (for the longest time) and would have to accept the final word of the management. she was on leave on thursday and friday so no, i didn’t have the opportunity to discuss what i learned with her (we spoke on wednesday, i learned about everything on thursday morning before leaving). i can’t deny how sad i am but i have begun to condition myself for the worse. being an honorable person, i still came to work on time, worked on my cases and made sure that i reached my quota. around me, my fellows, who had been asked to work on the front line, had discontentment carved on their faces. if i had been asked to join them, i would have to give myself a medal for being an all-around. i mean, what else have i not have done under the limitations of my job title?
after work, in an engaging conversation with my friends (who are co-workers) over breakfast and coffee, i mentioned the incident of the “over coffee” conversation the previous evening.
“intellectual revolution at work? it will make us look bad and turn us into martyrs”
“tsong, a revolution without action is not going to work”
enter the image of rizal being shot at luneta along with andres bonifacio and the iconic cry of pugad lawin.
“well. who are we anyway, we’re just lowly employees”
we ended up laughing at everything and hoped for the best in the coming days at work. maybe it is just one of those periods wherein there is too much demanded on the lower food chain to make the higher food chain happy. we will not be compensated financially for all of these things asked of us (above our job description) and hell, everyone knows it’s capitalism and the other co-worker told me that morale is NOT important to “them” since all these are under a management project to “cut on spending” and if we don’t like it, we should resign and they will hire other people who are more willing to work under those conditions.
that’s the thing, for the longest time, it was only towards the end of last year that this began and for mine, the middle.
again, i’m not complaining and the truth about “who cares if we are not a company who cares about our employee’s feelings or morale” is true in other places in different situations and faces - i’m just saying that there must be a better “idea” to compromise for whatever standards that has to be met and not at the expense of employees who had higher expectations of their job title and description.
but then again, i happen to be at the upper-lower part of our food chain.
